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on my MIND

0 comments | Tuesday, June 30, 2009

okay, i'm in.
*the crowd claps*
(I have a crowd)
yah, something in me turned off the skeptical and turned on the ... happy

i like these little snippets of each other that we can hold on to. until we see each other again. I looooove the looking-forward-to part. tonight i thought i'd burst out of my skin i wanted to see him so bad.
AND, get this, two packages were sent to me. by him. with simple notes and the most thoughtful gift (droppies!). I mean I think I mentioned I love those candies to him once. colour me impressed. this may be the point where i figured he 'had' me. I'm more impressed by the simplicity than i would have been by anything even slightly elaborate. it's all putting that glow into my chest. i want it to stay there.

can i let it go? can i release the holding back? the impatience? the longing? the TRUSTing? Can i? gawd, i hope so.
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of course my new demon is bearing down on me like crazy! i hate that i have to think it...maybe if i write it down and see it, it will seem ridiculous. So, in the back of my head is the person who just CAN NOT have any relationship (is this a relationship? wow *blink*) that even remotely resembles rikus'. the scenario is this: guy wants to leave country, guy finds girl on internet, guy knows she is quasi-vulnerable and moves in for the kill, guy does not falter cuz guy's target is new country, more opportunities. girl doesn't see that she is getting sucked in because now she is far too happy to turn back. girl loses.
------------------
anyway..tonight we may have twisted the boundaries a tad. he seemed to be picking up the sexy kitten vibe i was sending, that's for sure. talking about just getting out of the shower...is he trying to kill me??? WHAT!? But seriously, i think if we stayed talking (typing) much longer it would have become a bit hotter. Hot. Ter. Hotter.

*shaking my head*

what if i can't help myself from ripping his clothes off at the airport? what's going to stop me?!
i keep having these scenarios play in my head about his arrival. those first few moments in the airport. *tingle*


posted by boho

at 11:46 p.m. Permalink

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