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Sunday, June 28, 2009
i need someone i can count on
solid foundation...that's what i need
someone who doesn't try too hard...it just comes naturally
maybe i don't need anyone at all
i can't have another rikus. i won't survive it.
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CS made me mad last night. First time I think i've actually been mad at her. she recognized it, it was mentioned when i was trying to talk to her about other things and i know she knew how i felt...so we let it pass. guess that's why i love her. we don't need to talk about everything
i don't want to become a burden or make him grow tired of me...i think i can stay away for awhile. i'll let him know i'm around, but... yesterday, i did tell him that i'm not used to being 'around' someone so much...talking every day. i'm not much of a talker anyway. maybe i'll get boring
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do i see what i am supposed to see?
do i not see enough?
i think a part of me, just wants to keep moving on like i am. not let anyone in. just be okay. i am ok. i don't wany complication.
i can't have another situation like rikus. how it all started. how it all ended.
maybe this is my karma repayment for the afrikaaner. heh
maybe i need to get back out of my head and go for a ride on my bike. i think thath's what i'll do.
clear my head
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