do we ever do what we really want to be doing...
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Sunday, October 23, 2005
sometimes i hate myself for not being out there helping people, like i want to be doing. i hate that passion and drive are overcome by mediocre responsibilities and financial inadequacies. i can't do the work because i need more education and training, i can't get a that because i can't afford to go to school full time. i volunteer though...that saves me. i do the things locally that i wish i could do more intensely on a global scale. i would not like it if i couldn't satiate that passion with just a touch of what i want my reality to be. i can only hope that some day all my experiences and the skills i've gained will culminate into the perfect job, nay 'life', for me. it ain't gonna happen in calgary. i think what really scares me is that i signed a two year lease...but those can be broken ;)
if i could volunteer in the areas i want to work in, for the rest of my life, i can't imagine wanting much more than that...except maybe the odd hot shower and an occasional back massage. i know i'll never be rich, i think money ~can~ buy you happiness, it just depends on what makes you happy. and if you truly know what will make you happy, perhaps you don't need a whole lotta money. i know what would make me happy...what would satisfy me in life...
i feel like i've lost too many years. i hope i figure everything out soon. :)
1 Comments:
i love your heart, girl
24 October, 2005 15:57
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